You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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