I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
