i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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