Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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