i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
