Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
