I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
