Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
