I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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