direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize