Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
