Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
