i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
so much tequila, so little girl.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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