We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
