Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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