Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
