somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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