Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
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My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
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Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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