By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
