My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
