do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
