that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Houston, we have a blender
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
