he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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