Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
