Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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