weddingsv make me drug and hornr
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
