the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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