grandma shit on top of the toilet
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
