just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
