I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
