I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
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He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
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We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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