I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
