bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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