The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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