Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
