She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
