Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
