He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
