You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
