On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I party with great urgency now.
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