I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
