I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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