proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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