why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
