I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
