"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
