I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she peed on how many people?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
