The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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