too bad you live with your parents still
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
