You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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