I'm really into asian looking animals
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
