I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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