even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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