are you still at the devil's house?
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you had me at cake vodka
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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