he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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