did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize