U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
