I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
