I accidentally had phone sex last night
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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