We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
please come you make the beer taste better
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
