i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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