that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
