come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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