i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
