Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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