Only a mothe r could love this liver
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
